Sunday, June 8, 2014


this is not how i wanted this to go.
i had it all planned out.
i was going to take pictures of pink things and then let y'all know we are getting to foster a baby girl.
it was going to be cute.

but it's not.
instead, we have an empty crib. 
and no baby.
that's what happens in the fostering world.

almost a month ago, our agency quickly licensed us to foster/adopt so we could get a specific little sweet girl. 
she's a bio sibling of one of our boys. 
so naturally, with everything you hear about the state and foster care, we would be the first choice to foster, right?
--all that "keep the siblings together" bit.
and some people were on board.
so on board, in fact, that they let us know as soon as our home study was finished and approved, she could be moved to our home.

well, that date came and went. 
and it's not looking good, folks. 
i won't go into details but basically nothing is happening.
so we are sitting here, waiting.
with an empty crib.
and empty arms.
and not knowing if she'll ever come. 

and then there's the previous situation from months back where we thought we were getting a little boy, a bio sibling of one of our son's. and that fell through.
man, what's the deal?

it's been so stinkin' hard.

the other day as i was walking past the crib and thinking how this pretty much sucks (great perspective, huh)
i looked above the crib at the embroidery hoop that my dear friend amanda jo made for me a few years back. 
i love it, it's so beautiful.

God, in His awesome patience and love, shows me things. 
i probably miss a lot of them. 
but this time, it was clear. 
in fact, one of my favorite verses says to "rejoice ALWAYS, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1Thes 5:16-18.

instead of wallowing, i could be rejoicing. 
yes, things are not working out the way we thought.
and i still have my moments of doubt, panic, grief, frustration, anger, and fear.
but i can rejoice because God's will is perfect.
and He loves her more than i ever could.
and even though she's not here with us, we get the blessing of getting to pray for her.
what a gift!

so maybe someday i'll have pretty pink things to show you and we'll have a sweet foster baby girl to spoil. maybe it'll be this little girl, or perhaps it'll be one we don't even know about yet.
 regardless, may God help me rejoice always. 

**we have a big appointment coming up in a few weeks regarding this precious girl.**
your prayers are so very much appreciated. 
it looks like mountains need to be moved in order for things to happen.
this little one needs her prayer warriors. 
and our family does, too.
thank you, friends. 


  1. Margaret, I've been checking your blog regularly to see an update. I know you much be grieving right now. I will pray for you and Justin - that you will find peace as you wait on the Lord. You have no idea what's right around the corner. In the years to come, you'll be able to look back and see how God was working this through. It will be such a blessing to be able to reflect and see His hand at work. Hang in there and rejoice! Cheryl

    1. thank you for your words of encouragement! we have exhausted all our options, done everything we can to ensure we've done our part. so now we wait and see what God's plan is. sometimes it's hard to trust Him, but He is faithful, whether this goes the way i want it to or not. He holds her in the palm of His hand. i can trust Him.

  2. You precious and tender heart is beautiful, my friend. The Lord is near the broken hearted. He is with you. I love you and pray abundant peace over you and yours. xo

    1. thank you friend. we hope to know more at the court date next week. prayers for wisdom and discernment amongst those who are making decisions for this little girl are appreciated. it's been discouraging seeing how callous and indifferent some people have been regarding her situation. God is with her. and i need not fear! :)
      love y'all!

  3. I am praying for you and your family! We are about a month away from being licensed foster parents through Buckner. I may be picking your brain!

    1. i'm so excited for you guys and this journey God is leading you on. can't wait to hear more about it!
      may God give you the strength, diligence, and vision to keep going when it's hard, and thankful hearts to see His blessings in this ministry!


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