rejoice

this is not how i wanted this to go.

i had it all planned out.

i was going to take pictures of pink things and then let y'all know we are getting to foster a baby girl.

it was going to be cute.

but it's not.

instead, we have an empty crib. 

and no baby.

that's what happens in the fostering world.

almost a month ago, our agency quickly licensed us to foster/adopt so we could get a specific little sweet girl. 

she's a bio sibling of one of our boys. 

so naturally, with everything you hear about the state and foster care, we would be the first choice to foster, right?

--all that "keep the siblings together" bit.

and some people were on board.

so on board, in fact, that they let us know as soon as our home study was finished and approved, she could be moved to our home.

well, that date came and went. 

and it's not looking good, folks. 

i won't go into details but basically nothing is happening.

so we are sitting here, waiting.

with an empty crib.

and empty arms.

and not knowing if she'll ever come. 

and then there's the previous situation from months back where we thought we were getting a little boy, a bio sibling of one of our son's. and that fell through.

man, what's the deal?

it's been so stinkin' hard.

BUT...

the other day as i was walking past the crib and thinking how this pretty much sucks (great perspective, huh)

i looked above the crib at the embroidery hoop that my dear friend amanda jo made for me a few years back. 

i love it, it's so beautiful.

God, in His awesome patience and love, shows me things. 

i probably miss a lot of them. 

but this time, it was clear. 

REJOICE.

in fact, one of my favorite verses says to "rejoice ALWAYS, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1Thes 5:16-18.

instead of wallowing, i could be rejoicing. 

yes, things are not working out the way we thought.

and i still have my moments of doubt, panic, grief, frustration, anger, and fear.

but i can rejoice because God's will is perfect.

and He loves her more than i ever could.

and even though she's not here with us, we get the blessing of getting to pray for her.

what a gift!

so maybe someday i'll have pretty pink things to show you and we'll have a sweet foster baby girl to spoil. maybe it'll be this little girl, or perhaps it'll be one we don't even know about yet.

 regardless, may God help me rejoice always. 

**we have a big appointment coming up in a few weeks regarding this precious girl.**

your prayers are so very much appreciated. 

it looks like mountains need to be moved in order for things to happen.

this little one needs her prayer warriors. 

and our family does, too.

thank you, friends.