at one point today, i said to my children...out loud, "i am so sick of your sin issues. i'm so thankful God is more patient than i am."
wow. dang. that's harsh. and unloving. and awful.
i don't think i should be anticipating the mother of the year award any time soon.
you see, this house is filled with sin issues.
laziness, jealousy, impatience, apathy, selfishness, and on and on it goes. it's kinda because this house is filled with people. and people need Jesus.
and it's so easy to see sin in others. --especially children, who are better than adults at being authentic a lot of the time.
and as i huffed and puffed and spat words out like arrows, i was confronted once again with how sinful i am.
so so sinful.
i lose it, people. i get so angry... i think if someone took a picture, there might possibly be steam shooting out of my ears. --which i assure you, is much more comical in cartoons than in real life.
my poor children. yes they make bad choices. yes they sin. and no i'm not of the opinion that they learn every sin they do from watching myself or the hubs...because i think we all are very good at sinning.
we're all very good at needing a Savior.
but the way i handle their sin? that's on me.
man, i'm so convicted that i am missing so many opportunities to teach them about God's grace.
now...let's take a moment here.
sometimes in parenting books, i get a bit peeved when the author makes it sound like every five minutes we are to sit for 20 minutes and talk it all out because...let's face it...that math doesn't even work out.
AND life is going on all around us all the time. i also don't like it when people seem to not discipline and call it grace. grace and lack of discipline are not the same thing.
so i'm not saying that we should all schedule in 10 minutes of cuddle time for every correction we make with our children or anything like that, but i know that the Lord is showing me that i've gotta be quick to repent, quick to ask for forgiveness, quick to seek out restoration with the relationships around me instead of harboring irritated and angry feelings a lot of the time because...hey...you made that same sinful choice 5 minutes ago and 10 minutes before that and "i'm so sick of your sin issues..."
every time i read that i think, "holy poo. that statement is dripping with my own sin."
i'm gonna go ask my children for forgiveness. i can show them in my weakness and sin that i can boast in HIM, in Christ. --who paid the price for all our sins. He can be glorified even when i make an awful mess of things.
so i'm writing this to be authentic. to say i stink at this parenting thing sometimes.
i stink at this loving-Jesus-and-living-it-out thing a lot of the time.
can i get an amen? or am i the only one out here who screws up a ton?
**another disclaimer: if you are in shock and awe from my sin and don't want to be my friend anymore, i totally understand. but if you screw up too, or are really compassionate about people who do, i love you...will you be my friend?
**i'm linking up to time-warp wife. stop by for a visit. i always find great blogs there.