today is judah's 3rd birthday. sometimes on our kids' birthdays, i think about the day they were born. i wasn't there. did i feel different? did i feel something special in the air that day and not know what it was. 3 years ago today, in a hospital somewhere, a scared teenage girl delivered our son into the world. so i thought i would take this time to write her a note.
our son is beautiful. he gets that from you. he is strong and loving and stubborn and passionate. he is eager. he is precious. in a world where you could have taken the "easy" way out and ended his life during pregnancy, you chose to let him live inside you. thank you. i know life has been hard for you and losing your boys was crushing, but i want you to know i take this responsibility very seriously. judah is a gift and i treasure him. i promise to care for him, nurture him, disciple him, and help him to grow into a man of God that delights in doing His will. someday he will ask about you. someday he'll wonder where he came from. and he'll deserve a great answer. my answer will be: your biological mother loved you very much and did the very best she could. she could not take care of you, and God gave you to us. we are so grateful to have you. you are our forever son. nothing you ever do could make us stop loving you.
thank you, jane, for doing what was difficult. -the hardest thing you've ever had to do. thank you for letting go. thank you for judah.
happy birthday, judah. we love you so very very much.