in utter defiance: make memories, quick!

i hate to say it, but summer's almost over.

it's true.

insert weeping and gnashing of teeth.

and a little bit of excitement that in the near future, i'll probably be able to drink a fancy coffee by myself in silence and it will be a beautiful moment of joy and jubilee.

it's at this point every summer that i look back and think,

"what did we do all summer and where has it gone?"

"did i seize the day enough?!"

"we should do some more fun stuff real quick!"

and then i yell,

"hurry up and get to the car, kids, we're gonna make a happy summer memory and you better like it!"

this summer was a hard one for us.

the hardest.

our little miss went back to bio family.

so most of the first month of summer was spent attending court dates, talking to lawyers, worrying about the future, and then preparing for her to leave.

i feel like i should probably post more about her and the loss and such but all my thoughts are half-formed and most are pretty selfish.

we love her.

we wish she was here.

the rest of the summer was, i'm not gonna lie, spent trying to keep busy enough not to sit in a dark room with sad music playing while i curled up in the fetal position.

we took a trip up to my hometown, visited my husband's family, went to a skate park with old friends, hung out at our neighborhood pool, did fireworks, played with worms, went to jujitsu, babysat, read books to earn legos (bribing is the new thing), bought a bike for myself and rode with the kids to the pool, and ate out too much.

this past weekend, the hubs took care of the kids and i headed up to east texas for a baby shower for a dear sister-in-law (i have lots and they're all pretty dear.)

it was lovely and girly and a wonderful getaway.

my sister housed my mother in law and me and we ate brownies and slept in and chatted on the front porch in the morning breeze with frapuccinos in jars and it was beautiful.

i could spend days and days sitting on porches and reading and chatting.

glorious.