Saturday, November 28, 2009

spontaneous dancing and elf costumes!!!!
i know, you're jealous. and it's ok. you don't need to feel like a disappointment to the human race or like a sorry lazy louse just sittin on your keister waiting out the holiday. nope. just live vicariously thru this girl...right here. yep. that would be me!

i have spent this holiday shopping and spending time with loved ones and giving hugs and being sarcastic and laughing out loud so much so that one could call that type of laugh a "chortle." --fun to say, isn't it?


try it again


yay! good listening!

anyway, the kids are awesome and presents are bought and paid for...and...wait for it....wait for it....WRAPPED. yep. that's right. let's take a minute for you to stand in awe.


i am ready to dress up like an elf and go door to door handing out gifts and singing songs like "it's beginning to look a lot like christmas" which is a blatant lie in south texas because it never gets below a whopping 65 degrees outside.

speaking of elf (keep up with me, it was like a sentence and a half ago), did i ever tell you about the idea i once had to make the hubs a "hubs-sized" elf outfit like will ferrill's? i wanted to dress him up in it, send him out into a shopping area, and make him do hilarious yet stupid things for onlookers. "i'm with my dad and i'm singing..."

i like odd ideas. i like ideas that make me giddy with excitement. and yeah, a 6'5" man dressed as an elf makes my day. doesn't it make yours? another GREAT and fabulous idea that everyone is going to try to steal is my idea to produce a small-scale musical number to be performed in public by myself and a few ballsy friends. we've been in negotiations for years on this, but it has not yet come to fruition. one of the greatest disappointments of my life to date? possibly.

we'd arrange the music and dancing beforehand and shock the pants off people as we start singing about "sporks are a girl's best friend" as we all break out into a spontaneous yet amazingly in-sync chorus line. watch our highkicks, folks! the basis for all this? --how come in musicals all the people know all the words and dance moves to every song? i've tried making up songs on the spot with multiple people, and no one, not a single person ever, and i mean no one, in my life, has ever, and i mean this, even remotely, even irremotely (is that a word?) come close to knowing when to do the high-kicks and what words to say to finish the phrase that i'm singing. shocker...i know.

all this to say...i have dreams. big ones. and they involve elf suits and spontaneous dancing.

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