hysterical motherhood

my youngest, monkey, has been screaming for what seems like years. i want a soundproof room. i know infants are not logical beings, but i try to rationalize with him: "if you are crying and i pick you up, and you're still crying, i'm going to put you down." "if you wake up and are still tired, go back to sleep." "if you throw food down on the floor, you're not getting more. and you can't cry about it."

i think every small human should sleep at least 1 1/2 hours at a time. i wish my kids had a "suggestions" box that i could put all my ideas into or at least a snooze button.

i need a nap

kick him in the crotch

my friend just read "crazy love" and she said it ripped her a new one. --which is actually what i look for in a good book. it talks about aspiring to the median. the average household makes $40,000 and so the idea is, if you make more than that, you live off the 40 and give away the rest. i like it. it's challenging and i like a challenge.

i myself would like to read more by mark driscoll, matt chandler, and john piper. if you haven't ever seen it, look up "john piper health wealth prosperity gospel" on youtube. it's kinda amazing.
it would pretty much kick joel olsteen in the crotch.

pensive day

"Keep me as the apple of Your eye; hide me in the shadow of Your wings" --psalm 17:8
isn't that beautiful imagery? The Lord hiding you in the shadow of His wings. there are 6 references to the wings of God in psalms and i always thought what an amazing mental picture that created. you, engulfed in the wings of the Lord, protected from everything that might harm you. peaceful, isn't it?

i've been reading christian fiction lately and i think everyone should read: "Though None Go With Me" by jerry b jenkins as well as "Redeeming Love" by francine rivers. i enjoyed both mucho mucho. both come highly recommended by friends.

go check them out!

They grow up so fast, don't they?

so, it's official. our foster son, monkey, is walking like a crazy person. actually, he is walking like any normal person would, and that's the problem. (not really). he's only been here 2 months and he's doing so much more than when he came.

when he arrived here at the marge mansion, he was so behind. but now he's well-nourished, cruising, crawling, babbling, signing, blowing kisses, panting like a dog when he sees the dogs... and walking. my baby who is not officially "my" baby is walking. i know most children eventually learn how to walk, but as a parent, doesn't it feel like you've arrived? like you've accomplished the unimaginable? my oldest, gabe,  would say "you're the bomb-dizzle. fo-shizzle." by the way, he's a cutie too. who knew at 3 years old, you could conquer the world?

this blog was created to chronicle our life, but also to keep an account of the process of fostering. who knows where it will lead. but when it's all said and done, i can look back and say it wasn't just my imagination. he grew. he thrived. and we love every minute of it.

Adoption rage

really this is just a wee rant regarding people's ignorance. you really can't hold it against them. i wish i could. i hope it's not just a complaining session but by reading this, you'll gain a little insight into our lives.

after being an adoptive parent for over a year now, i'm a bit exhausted from being the token adoptive mother in people's lives. the first comment that cut like a knife was from a family member of ours who said to my husband, "what's wrong with marge that she can't have kids of her own?" offensive much? there are like 6 things wrong with that sentence. so from that, we'll cover all the offensive things you might be able to say to an adoptive parent. --and why those comments make me want to punch people in the face.

here's what's offensive to me: when people say "you can't have children of your own?" --THAT is offensive. first of all: children who happen to be adopted ARE, in fact, our own. they are chosen. adoptive parents do not segregate adoptive versus biological children. second of all, the ability to birth biological children is a bit of a personal question, don't you think?? complete strangers have asked me this, and all i can say is TACT. i mean, we probably could have bio children, but does that matter? does that make it less amazing if we couldn't have bio kids. does it make it more amazing if we could and chose not to?

when people say "i want to have a few of my own, and then adopt, " it implies that adoption is a second choice. granted, adoption is harder and so it often isn't considered until other options that might be "easier" have been pursued. so many children need homes and adoption is such a difficult process that often costs so much (monetary and otherwise). adoption has to be intentional because it is such a bureacratic situation. and just a side note: adoption thru the state of texas is free. no lawyer fees. awesome.

last but not least, a lot of people (i think) feel guilty when we talk of adopting. i don't know why. it's a personal choice and i have no business telling others what to do with their families. but when it comes time for that part of the conversation, they always say "i couldn't do that. it's too hard. i couldn't handle them leaving," --to which i say, "their need for a family and our ability to help is more important than our need to be comfortable." God speaks on many, many occassions in the Bible about caring for the orphans and widows. a lot of christians believe that abortion is wrong, and a lot of christians say that homosexuals should not have the ability to adopt. while my feelings on these matters are irrelevant, i will address those people: if you say that homosexuals can't adopt and you don't want mothers to have abortions, who does that leave to take care of these precious gifts? YOU.


every child deserves a mommy and daddy who say i love you and every child deserves someone who'll tuck them into bed at night or kiss their boo boos, or cheer for them at soccer games. maybe it could be you.

Elijah means "the Lord is my salvation"

we had our foster son placed in our home in may. he was just over a year and only 17 pounds (for those NOT into child development, that's  malnutrition.) we love him so much and are anxious to see if he gets to stay with us. we'll know more next tuesday. if we were to adopt him, we would name him elijah, which means "the Lord is my salvation." i desire for our foster son, no matter where he ends up, to know the Lord as his God. --to have salvation be personal for him.

here's the skinny on our little guy: his bio mom is young and has issues, bio dad has issues. grandparents have issues. i know it might sound counter-cultural, but I desire more than anything for him to stay with us unless it is God's will for him to be with bio mom. what if it's God's will for him to be raised by her and help her grow up? and what if...pause for dramatic effect...we are supposed to help her in that endeavor?? who knows....but i know that God is sovereign over all of this. He IS enough. and at the end of the day, whether our foster son becomes elijah or whether he goes home with his bio mom, my job is to trust in the Lord with all my heart, to lean not upon my own understanding, to seek HIS will in all i do and He will direct my paths. --prov 3:5-6.

Trendy-ness

i was going to name this blog "A Forever Family" in regards to adoption, but because i oppose all things trendy, and blogs are quite the trendy thing to do, i decided to go for that instead.

my blog will not be trendy. there. i said it. sorry peeps.

a little about me: i am a Christian trying to be completely dependent on God, i speak in ebonics often, and i love the man i married. we have a son who's adopted, gabe, and another who's a foster child, monkey. -more on that to come later. one of my pet peeves is when people confuse "your" and "you're". another pet peeve is people who don't recognize personal space. excuse me! i greatly enjoy sarcasm and long walks on the beach.

that's all for now.
peace out homey g funks