today

recently i realized that although i'm with my children almost everyday, all day, i am not getting a lot of time one-on-one with them. a lot of our time is spent with friends, which is such a wonderful blessing. but i find that when i'm with friends, i talk to them instead of focusing on the kids. now i'm a big "everything in moderation" type of gal, so i love my friend time, but i also love having the kids to myself sometimes too. so i decided that this week we would reconnect, just the 3 of us. by the end of the week, we'll probably be a little sick of each other, and the cycle can continue! :)

so today was the zoo. we got to ride the train and see two brand new baby monkeys. what fun!

isn't it a little crazy how one's definition of fun changes a bit when they become a mom?

so no deep thought for the day. just family time. one-on-one.

lately

i've been struggling lately with my quiet times. and by "lately" i mean i can remember a time in college where they were consistent and deep, but since then, they've been sporadic. i know. it's shameful. i am doing a kay arthur study on revelation which is really interesting and strengthening. but i need more. i have trouble studying my Bible during my quiet times. --which, by the way, seems to be a coined term. we should change it to be something like "rockin' out with my Jesus" time or something. or perhaps "becoming intricately intertwined with my Lord Jesus." or if you like, you could call it "meditating on the wholeness of one's self when completed by the Almighty Father in Heaven." choose your pick. i think my "intertwining" times with Jesus lack focus. i tend to just study from the surface level, pray passionately but briefly, and then try to keep those lines of communication open during the day.

now, i am NOT the kinda girl who thinks you must spend at least 15.2 minutes each day on your knees in prayer and at least 10.7 minutes reading and studying your Bible each day. but studying and praying are foundational. i would like it if i could check off a list. if Jesus would say, "hey there marge. in order to be holy, you'll need daily quiet times, including at least 1 chapter of the Bible plus 10 minutes of prayer daily. don't forget to floss. thanks!" but He doesn't give us a list, does He? then we'd be legalistic trying to do it all on our own.

i think sometimes we downplay how we are supposed to live. i think sometimes we use grace as an excuse instead of a reason to strive for God's best. "sure, i've sinned. but God will forgive me." --and this is true. but my man paul said it succinctly: "are we to continue to sin so that grace may increase? may it never be!" rom 6:1.
when i read that verse i'm like, "of COURSE we shouldn't sin more" but at times i find myself downplaying the sin in my life because Christ has paid the price. --may it never be.

so here's a few verses for me to contemplate. maybe they'll strengthen you too:

"how can a young man keep his way pure? by keeping it according to Your word. with all my heart i have sought You. do not let me wander from Your commandments. Your word i have treasured in my heart that i may not sin against You." psalm 119:9-11

"let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father." col 3:16, 17

feel free to hold me accountable when it comes to my relationship building and intimacy growing encounters with the Alpha and Omega. --"quiet times" is much shorter.

rosie the riveter is my hero

i plan on someday writing a book about the diversity among stay-at-home-moms. just walk into any chick-fil-a around 11:30am and you'll see a slew of them, baby in tow, organized diaper bag on the arm, ready for action. look around and you'll see 1. the mom who can't ever seem to remember to pack both the bottle AND the formula 2. the one who always has hand sanitizer, diapers, and wipes in matching containers 3. the one who looks exhausted with a glazed look in her eyes or 4. the one who has the cute bob haircut, high cheekbones, and a color-coordinated outfit. i think most of us are a mix-matched assortment of a few of these.

i happen to be the mom with flip flops on no matter the day or season (and a tan line to prove it), with her hair back in a bandana. my hero is rosie the riveter. (she really COULD do it all.) i use the same backpack, day or night, instead of a purse or diaper bag, because it is practical... and above all else, i am practical. i get frustrated and flushed with my children. i like organizing toys and have a small infatuation with storage boxes of any kind. i enjoy dean martin and yankee candles and purses from target.

i say all this because i find myself constantly comparing myself to other moms.

am i enough?

to me, being a SAHM is so difficult because, unlike other jobs, you don't get a quarterly review. you don't receive end of year bonuses. you don't have people recommending you for a promotion.

you have your family and your household and sometimes a part time job on the side.
and it is so rewarding. -and more important than anyone in our society gives us credit for.

i have spent the last year trying to find my own way in this new career. when i spend time with other SAHM friends, they challenge me and sharpen me and make me aware of common pitfalls. i appreciate that i am not alone in this. i appreciate that the hubs constantly reaffirms me in this position. i appreciate that this is an eternal investment.

God has equipped me for His work. HE is enough.

--the key is to remember this fact when the kids are screaming, the house is a wreck, and dinner is burning.

mommy metal

i didn't mean to look seductive in this pose. "hey there fella." :) this is just to prove i have a nose piercing. --for those who were in doubt. a friend told me i was very trendy for getting a nose piercing. i corrected him. if i were under 21, this would be trendy. because i'm 26, it's just lame and uncool. --and that's what i'm all about. hehe. i had always wanted more fun piercings. and for the first time in my life, i'm not working outside of the home...which means...i don't have to follow a dress code. woohoo piercing freedom!

maybe in december

it's not a definite, but it's news all the same. the caseworker called today to let me know that if biological family for monkey will be trying to get him, it will take longer than expected. some more obstacles have come up for them.

the hubs and i have discussed and been praying over whether or not to let bio mom live with us while she tries to get on her feet. the cw said that wasn't a good idea. she wants the mom to do it on her own. i just want her to have a place to call home. so that idea might be crushed. i guess we'll see. so much is unknown. and that's ok. a song by chris tomlin has been on my heart today: "there is one God. He is holy. there is one Lord over everything. there is one King, He is Jesus. King of glory, strong and mighty." He can handle this, even when it's pressing me.

"i am pressed but not crushed. persecuted not abandoned. struck down but not destroyed." 2 cor 4:8,9

the weirdest part of it all is that i think i'm ok. it's still so up-in-the-air, and i have such a peace that God is sovereign even if it works out differently than i hope. God is good all the time; all the time, God is good

not trendy at all

so here's my newest find. these cute birdie salt and pepper shakers were only $3. i know...let's take a moment to be stunned by my excellence in bargain shopping. but the non-trendy part? i did not find these at a vintage store. i did not find them at an estate sale. i did not find them on etsy. nope. i found them at pier one. the trendy-impersonator person's store. i'm sure pier one is seen as the generic attempt at being trendy. but i love that place. everything i looked at today made me say "oh my goodness, that makes me happy." so there you go. pier one. go figure.


the vase below is from target and i love it with all my heart. one of my fave hobbies is to buy a bouquet of flowers and split it up into several different vases and put them all over my house. lovely.

old hat boxes and tin can chairs

these are my grandmother's hats. we called her "ma." when i moved into our house, i brought these with me. i always keep a few of them on display in our guest room.

my ma was a pretty cool little lady. i never knew her because she died before i was born. she made quilts, but she never measured anything so none of them are square. (i kinda like that.) she also made little dollhouse chairs out of aluminum cans.--talk about talent. she was known for going around the baseboards at my parents' house with a toothbrush to clean them better. --i wish she could come and do my baseboards. they're horrible.

her name was edith ellen, and i know that's a bit old fashioned, but i kinda like it. i've thought about naming a daughter after her and calling her "edie" (eedy), but the hubs won't go for that idea.

what memories do you have of your grandparents?do you remember helping your grandmother cook pies in her kitchen overlooking the front yard with great big oak trees? or do you remember going to the drug store with your grandpa and him letting you pick out a cute doll to take home with you? how about the creepy cows mooing outside their house at night. --and the whole time you're thinking, "i know cows are vegetarians, but man, i think they might eat me."

i want my kids to have memories of traditions and fun times that we've shared. --maybe even a couple of memories about cows. i want them to know where they come from. i want them to have memories that they pass down.
what's your favorite memory?